Duran Duran - Hold Back the Rain (1982)

I'm going to repost this one simply because this song is one of my favorites ever.

Listen to John Taylor's bass line here. That's all you need in life.

I love this whole album so much I'd marry it and have little Rios.

The Cramps - Human Fly (1978)

It's been a long while since I've posted anything music-related. So for the next few days I'll post some songs I'm really, really into right now.

For starters it's The Cramps. Human Fly has some of my favorite lyrics of all time (Well I-I'm the human fly/ I-I spell F-L-Y/ I-I say buzz buzz buzz and it's just because...).

It's silly. It's sad. It's heavy. It's campy. And sexy. All at once. Can't beat the riff, the solid drums, and vocals in this.

You don't watch that show?

I do! It's awesome. New episode tonight! I have to let everyone know I'm gonna watch it.

You should watch it, too. You'd feel almost as superior as me if you did.

Almost.

Remember, remember...

... to turn off the oven.

I have...

... a girl crush on Tina Fey.

Nah, but seriously, I want her to be my writing mentor.

Step 1: Catch up on 5 seasons of 30 Rock (Done.)
Step 2: Get my hands on a 30 Rock script for format reference.
Step 3: Write 30 Rock spec script
Step 4: Get an agent and hope for the best

OR

Steps 1 thru 3
Step 4: Tina Fey has a vacation in Orlando, walks into my store, she hires me to write for her on the spot.

Anything's possible.

Outrage!

I'm mad!

They are wrong! I'm right!

The whole world ignores this ISSUE (but me).

Society this. Society that. 

Look at this online article! They agree with me!

Outrage! Anger!

Back to eating and watching my favorite TV show.

Buster Keaton

His films aren't just meant to be enjoyed. They are meant to be STUDIED. Anybody who is involved in comedy writing/directing/editing/producing/acting needs to know his filmography inside & out.

I can't remember when I first started watching him, I was so little. Probably when I was five or six. Back then I thought he was 'young Chaplin'. I thought he was the same guy, but his mustache had not 'grown' just yet. My knowledge of Keaton's life and films has expanded quite a lot since then...

It's over twenty years now and I still love him. Well, both. He and Chaplin are my soulmates.

Every Sunday in October Turner Classic Movies is going to be showing marathons of his films. And that makes me happy. (I'm not headed toward an intellectual discussion here. Like I said, he simply makes me happy.)

I'm not ashamed to admit...

... I dig LMFAO. I don't know how it happened.

Banksy

Banksy's storyboard for his Simpson's intro

Beautiful. :)

And sad. :(

But still, beautiful. :)

If You're Gonna Be Dumb...

If You’re Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough

by KarenO

lyrics by Roger Allan Wade

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
When you get knocked down you gotta get back up,
I ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer
But I know enough, to know,
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

I drenched my brain with Rot-Gut whiskey
Till my pain was chicken fried
And I had dudes with badges frisk me
Teach me how to swallow pride

I took advice no fool would take
I got some habits I can’t shake
I ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer
But I know enough to know
If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up
That’s the way it is in life and love
If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

I’ve been up and down and down and up
I’ve been left and right and wrong
Yeah, I’ve walked the walk and I’ve run my mouth
On the short end for too long

If they gave medals for honky tonk fuckin wars
Hell, I’d put mine in my chest of drawers
With my irs bills and divorce papers and all that stuff
If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

(Everybody!)
If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up
I ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer
But I know enough to know
If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
(one more time)
If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

This song helped me get through many tough times. And it's fun to sing along to.

So...

...one more revision and off to register it I go.

No clue what I'm talking about? That's fine. I have no clue what I'm doing so that evens it all out.

Y ahora: un momento poético

Basura por el flanco derecho...

Mierda por el flanco izquierdo...

La madre por el centro...

rayooosss y truenoooossss....

--- Tina De La Guetto

I Want My MTV (and My Monkey, Too)

Last night I dreamed I was working for MTV in the 90s. I was at a special employee-only concert watching some bands and having a casual chat with Michael Stipe from R.E.M. After a while, I got a bit bored. The MTV people wanted to prank Michael and he wasn't having it and neither was I. Assholes. Working here is great, but I'm getting tired of it, I thought. So then I stepped outside for some fresh air.

Suddenly I was in my childhood home in Puerto Rico when I saw a small capuchin monkey drive by in a little toy car. He jumped out of it and jumped on my shoulder.

I didn't care whose it was. I decided he would be mine. And he was happy about this so I gave him a kiss.

And that was my dream. I swear I don't do any drugs.

Plastic Bertrand - Ça Plan Pour Moi (1977)

 

This song just makes me want to grab my bags and travel to Europe.

Or

Makes me wanna just run fast like a maniac to nowhere in particular.

Or both:

A Little Reminder...

...that this blog is very much alive.

All in its due time.

Thank You.

Oh, btw... it's my birthday!

2am Rubiks Cube

To quote myself: "I have 1... 2...3... I need 3 more and I can't do it. Mew."

Hold Back the Rain (And The Weird Dreams)

Last night I dreamed I was dating this man. Yes, in his 80s mullet glory and all. The entire dream consisted of our first meeting all the way to our relationship. This is what happens to me for listening to Duran Duran so much recently. I am turning 29 in four days and it was like being a kid all over again. A 28-year-old like myself having such a teen girl moment would be sad if it was 1982 and it was Duran Duran's hey day, but it's even sadder in the year 2011.

Although I have to stop myself right there. I don't have to dismiss it or bring myself down. The truth is, it wasn't bad at all. And it's not like there's hundreds of people at the edge of their seat waiting to weigh in with their opinion on this (judging by the 0 comments I get in each post.)

I admit it: for one night I had a crush on the guy. And, honestly, waking up had never felt so overrated. I would have stayed there with him if I could.

It was nice. There was a lot of giggling and touching and tension. And it was so funny because there he was with the mullet and the 80s clothes, but somehow it was perfect. And I think that's the way it should be. I want to feel that again, that level of comfort. I wonder if I'll find someone who's that secure in himself and who believes in me.

The only problem is that now every time I listen to "Hold Back the Rain" I'll blush a little. And I'll be turning red plenty because I love that song. I'm into it obsessively. And, oh boy, it's because of the bass line...

Uh oh.

Now You See Me...

Not the Video I Intended

Guess I'm human after all.

And then they called her Wicked Z

Because they decided who she should be
Before she could speak, before she could see
That after a footstep, it was better to leave.

Wicked is this, Wicked wants that
All the fat cows gave her a hat
And they wiped their asses with them
To make stains shaped like cats.

She worked and she wept, day and night,
But not once did she show any fright
Wicked, little darling, just don't you try,
To fool them into getting into a fistfight.

Because this one thing you must understand
They really don't need a helping hand
Wicked are they (oh this is grand)
And for sure they will fall from where they stand

On their own, and this you will see,
Fall to the ground, like an old, heavy tree,
Because you've done no wrong,
Not one time or three

Wicked are they, but you have the name,
And keep it you should, for you're still the same
Leave them be and keep your lips sealed
Their true ugly nature, in time, is always revealed.

Things that rhyme with 'History'

Beestory

Ceestory

Deestory

Earstory

Feestory

Geestory

Killstory

Kill it...

Just kill it now.

Forget History. Buy shoes. Pumps. Bitches love pumps.

A 19-year-old making plans

Okay so we can, like, load our stuff in my car and take it to your place 'cause tomorrow's my sister's birthday party so I'm gonna need to get everything done before that. Or maybe we can, like, hold it someplace til next week. I'm not sure how long it'll take 'cause I texted him earlier today but, like, he said we couldn't do it so now I have to wait till tomorrow afternoon 'cause, like, my class it's at 7am and I have a test on Wednesday which is, like, sooooo retarded. I told my boyfriend if he could come pick me up, but he has a game on Sunday so, like, I gave a call to my roommate but she's back home for the weekend so now I have to do this shit myself. I have to go to Target first and buy some things, but I lost my dad's card so now I have to pay cash which is bullshit as he's, like, being a total asshole about it. I think we should take everything to Lindsay's house 'cause I not she has space there for sure 'cause her dad has, like, an extra room for things when they moved from Michigan. Um... if not we could always wait a few hours, unless he texts me, but I doubt it 'cause his phone's been off, like, all day. I mean, like, seriously what's the deal with that? I have to pick up my friend first at her job 'cause she finishes at 10 so that gives me fifteen minutes to get ready, then we can pick you up and then we can head to Kyle's house 'cause Brandon's gonna be there and he has like this, like, huge-ass pick up truck.

You think we should do that, right??????

It's Always There (This Is Me)

Listen to a song again after 20 years. When you are 4 or 5 you don't have yet a real concept of time. You don't know that in twenty five years, a song will still be with you.

Dance to it. Like you did before, but better. Like it's the first time and the last. No room for analysis.

Music. It's always with you, it's always there, even when you think you've forgotten it.

Blame technology, despise it, hate it even. But admit it brings you things you thought lost. It brings you things you never thought you'd get to hear. Like an extended version of a song.

The song is like you. A different, more complex version of the original, yet, in essence, the same.

The song IS you. What you felt about it, what you remember, whatever it contains so it stays with you. It's a part of you.

It's still there.

And it's not going to leave you.

Silent Night is Silent

 

I still can't get over the fact that every time I upload a video, Youtube decides to make use of the ugliest frame as the video's thumbnail. I look like I'm angry, but the truth is I just frowned for half a second. I had three frames to choose from and, trust me, this was the best one.

Anyway, this was recorded on May 9th. As you can see, it was not a great night. My mother was sick with a kidney stone that wouldn't pass, along with other maladies. Just one of those nights were I sit in my room and ponder about life, the universe and the amount of Hot Pockets I have left in the freezer, while I play nurse, and pretend I'm fine.

I'm not used to recording myself. At least I haven't done so in many years. I do have dozens of audio cassettes of 'radio shows' I did for myself when I was 9 or 10. I would improvise and play songs and those shows were actually damn good, now that I think about it. Those tapes are around the house somewhere. Someone teach me how to make them into files I can transfer to the computer!

But I digress.

It was not a good night that night. And the silence was seriously freaking me out. I'll be the first one to admit I avoid others. I don't chat, I don't skype and I can't keep up with the ever-changing digital world fads. I'm trying to join the 21st century. Trying, I say.

Clio - Faces (1985)

A few days ago I rediscovered the song "Faces" by Electric Youth (2009). It had been hiding in my iTunes for over a year. The song, to me, was perfection, but deep inside something was eating at me and I couldn't quite pinpoint why. As always, a little Youtube-ing brings out the truth. Turns out it was originally recorded by Clio in 1985. I'm not even going to pretend to know who Clio is, but let's face it, her version is much more satisfying.

At least to me.

GPOY

Sup.

Might as well...

 

I started watching Regular Show. Here's my rendition of Mordecai drawn in MS Paint. I have yet to see the Death Punch (or something like that) episode and my bro says it's the shit.

Old School

Just sayin'.

D.A.F. - Kebab Träume (1980)

Every once in a while I'll listen to a song that just restores my faith in music. Just another happy accident. The band is called Deutsch Amerikanische Freundschaft. For some reason they sometimes shortened it to D.A.F. This single is from 1980 and I think it's their first ever. I'm not sure. YOU have google, too, so YOU look it up.

According to my last.fm, I had listened to this only once sometime ago, but I have no recollection of this, so I'm pretending I just discovered it. (I HAVE, however, listened to "Der Mussolini" an unhealthy amount of times and Alles ist Gut is  a damn good album. Sing it with me: "Der Rauber und der Prinz...")

"This girl is UP when the pressure is on."

It's okay to be shaken up a little, to be under pressure for a thousand different reasons, to be sensitive and emotional.

As long as you get back up again and prove that you're really a motherfucking badass. (And it's damn more awesome if you do it in a little pink dress.)

Shit. I'm gonna go listen to "What a Feeling" and watch this again.

If anyone asked me right now when's the last time I cried, I could give them a fairly recent answer.

She'd Run You Down

 

Exactly.

The Grand Poobah

The Golden Girls is my favorite sitcom of all time. My DVD boxes are falling apart because I've seen every season so many times.

Nobody could deliver a line like Bea Arthur (Dorothy, in the middle) and this clip shows how amazing she was. When she died two years  years ago I cried as if someone close to me, like my own grandmother, had died. I've been watching the show over ten years now and I can watch marathons still. It just never gets old. (Although the ladies did. All are gone except Betty White. And as much as everyone loves her these days, Bea really was the center, the rock of that show.)

This is the type of sitcom I would love to write for. You just needed a living room, a kitchen and four amazing actresses to deliver one great line after the other. They were able to engage an audience with zero gimmicks. You can close your eyes and STILL laugh. I think all great sitcoms are like that, great radio shows in disguise.

Here's my favorite Dorothy clip:

You could say she was the Grand Poobah of the Golden Girls.

About a Dream

I never talk about my dreams and usually hate it when others tell me about theirs. But last night I had one so awesome and so real, I just have to write it down here. I was in a very small car with other people (strangers to me, but I knew them in the dream) driving through a countryside.

The road was full of curves, and everything was so green. Flowers (violet and pink mostly) and trees and plants everywhere. I knew I had to be in Europe. But I wasn't sure where I was. We stopped for a little while to enjoy the scenery and drink tea from a thermos (??? and I don't ever drink tea) and then our trip continued.

It was late in the afternoon that we saw it from afar. The Louvre and it's giant glass pyramid. I then knew (me in the dream, not me in the car--- if that makes sense) that I was in France. My friends and I were on a road trip to Paris. I remember feeling the excitement of finally arriving and I said that it was so much more beautiful in real life. We got out of the car to admire the pyramid, just waiting for the sun to go down so we could see it all lit up and when it was,  it was so beautiful....

We hung around the plaza a little bit but we would actually be going inside the Museum in the morning.

It was so real. I've only been to the U.S. and Puerto Rico, but now going to Europe seems likes such a feasible goal. Only because I feel like I've already been there. It absolutely makes no sense. But there it is. My dream.

Telex - Moskow Discow (1979)

I had listened to this before, but it wasn't until today that I got the 12" Maxi mixes. You know it's a good tune when you start listening to remixes of the same song time and time again and don't get tired. So basically it's a band from Belguim singing about Russia in French. I'm not sure what they're singing, but I assume it's about a disco. OR about dancing disco. In Moskow. And that it's freezing up there and it's the Cold War and Brezhnev blows. (Nothing says Soviet Union quite like a cowboy smoking a cigar.)

That's my assumption. I'm sure I'm not too far off. It's 2am so who cares...

Another post about a mouse.

This is from a TERRIBLE movie called Zapped! from 1982. I should've known it was going to suck balls the moment I saw Scott Baio in the credits. I could only watch the first few minutes before I shut the computer and contemplated how the producers of this film got up every morning and started their day thinking "I'm going to the set to work my film called Zapped!"

I hope they've had their memories erased by some sort of medical procedure so they can forget ever being involved in such a project. And they should call me so I can erase mine from watching it.

The mouse was the most interesting part of the film and he could out-act them all, even underwater.

I blame myself for staying up so late that night and going on a Netflix search frenzy.

Never again.

Azul y Negro - The Night (1982)

I pretty much just discovered this track in one of my usual random internet musical searches. Does the intro sound A LOT like the Party Boy song from Jackass? Maybe. Still that doesn't take away how awesome this song is. An incredibly catchy tune from 1982.

What's more remarkable is that it's from the Spanish duo Azul y Negro. I am so used to the Italian and German sound, it's easy to forget there's so much more out there.

A New Start

A new start. And there's really no better way to open up this blog again than with Sparks and "Tryouts for the Human Race."

Enjoy.